Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm sobbing to NWA
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
