i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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