Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
