Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
