please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
