I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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