we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
