Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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