my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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