he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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