then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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