The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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