It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
