UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
