problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
