I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
