I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
