Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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