OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
