Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
