I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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