We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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