Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
