i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
