i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
