I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
