I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
