five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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