Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha

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(702): **** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha http://tfl.nu/p7u5

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

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(902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. http://tfl.nu/575h

Replies (136) Good night (7314) Bad night (55296)
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(512): View more from Texas

clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.

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(512): clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar. http://tfl.nu/1hcy

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(410): View more from Maryland

Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

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(410): Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night http://tfl.nu/ayrv

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(305): View more from Florida

I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".

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(305): I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang". http://tfl.nu/9dw0

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

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(402): I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat http://tfl.nu/ufc8

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(702): View more from Nevada

as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....

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(702): as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor.... http://tfl.nu/g9pf

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.

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(508): the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell. http://tfl.nu/o2wo

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(360): View more from Washington

No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.

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(360): No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling. http://tfl.nu/gf5w

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(630): View more from Illinois

hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?

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(630): hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night? http://tfl.nu/6bu9

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(310): View more from California

Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.

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(310): Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine. http://tfl.nu/yujo

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(727): View more from Florida

It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.

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(727): It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm. http://tfl.nu/84qt

Replies (4) Good night (1958) Bad night (526)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.

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(651): Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult. http://tfl.nu/x3id

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(415): View more from California

I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.

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(415): I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong. http://tfl.nu/jmit

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(631): View more from New York

Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.

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(631): Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/mm7p

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