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**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
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