She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.