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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.

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• (925): View more from California

  I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Aren't you gay?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME

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• (509): View more from Washington

  You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"

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