btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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