just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
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You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.