Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm scared

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.

  (972): View more from Texas

  That's what I'm afraid of

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  (972): I'm scared (337): There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size. (972): That's what I'm afraid of http://tfl.nu/7af7
  Replies (16) Good night (852) Bad night (3902)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  never play flip cup with pint glasses

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  (503): never play flip cup with pint glasses http://tfl.nu/n0k9
  Replies (13) Good night (2443) Bad night (1194)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo

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  (727): My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo http://tfl.nu/tgva
  Replies (38) Good night (945) Bad night (4804)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.

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  (402): just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot. http://tfl.nu/9z8d
  Replies (24) Good night (4607) Bad night (864)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  my text book just quoted the cookie monster

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  (613): my text book just quoted the cookie monster http://tfl.nu/5m8t
  Replies (24) Good night (8485) Bad night (829)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.

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  (614): I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon. http://tfl.nu/njuz
  Replies (34) Good night (2537) Bad night (5775)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.

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  (781): So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger. (603): Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat. http://tfl.nu/6067
  Replies (19) Good night (6858) Bad night (1274)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?

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  (973): Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet? http://tfl.nu/xg0z
  Replies (11) Good night (5104) Bad night (1151)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."

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  (908): While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you." http://tfl.nu/7a3m
  Replies (55) Good night (27364) Bad night (2703)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.

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  (205): I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030. http://tfl.nu/rrwq
  Replies (6) Good night (2634) Bad night (948)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.

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  (318): If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists. http://tfl.nu/cuic
  Replies (3) Good night (1670) Bad night (523)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?

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  (773): Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents? http://tfl.nu/nffm
  Replies (4) Good night (867) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"

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  (954): Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!" http://tfl.nu/vh6t
  Replies (21) Good night (1559) Bad night (728)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship

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  (816): You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex (816): ...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship http://tfl.nu/eny9
  Replies (3) Good night (1446) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?

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  (860): One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between? http://tfl.nu/negm
  Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (228)

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