I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
