Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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