Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
