I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize