Is it because I queefed?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
