He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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