my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
