ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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