Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
