in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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