If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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