I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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