Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There are leaves in my underwear?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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