I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
