I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
