there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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