Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
