There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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