jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
