You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
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I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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