We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
