Kiss
Puke
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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