If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
