I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
