She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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