The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
