Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she smelled like a LAN party
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
