Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
