I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
