So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
