I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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