I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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