Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
