i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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